Random

These days Sleep kicks in, clawing it’s way through like an unannounced, unwanted guest tracing intrusive patterns in my sedentary life. It is extremely disheartening the way I end up feeling drowsy and lethargic at unexpected times of the day. I always knew I had erratic sleeping patterns but this is something I had never accounted for in my 21 years. Ma says, it is perfectly natural and nothing surprising, considering the fact I am directionless, unfocussed and forever befuddled. Not to forget unorganized. But then again Ma has been associating such adjectives with pretty much everything about my life for as long as I can remember. I daresay, even at fifty I shall remain all the above in her eyes. Come to think of it, going by the kind of discursive life I am leading right now, such a contention seems hardly out of place.

So be it. At fifty, I would be old, with sagging skin and wrinkles crisscrossing my forehead, dozing off when the world was pottering about, trying to prove it’s worth.
okay, it is such a pain to type out directionless, rambling sentences. Everything is redundant and every damn thing so useless.i have been at the key-board for the last five minutes, lazily fiddling with random keys, trying to string together formless, shapeless, disconnected thoughts.i notice tiny specks of dust have settled in the edges, lending my old, battered key-board a degree of familiarity that nothing in the world can replace. These days, i am scrounging around, desperately clinging onto whatever remnants of familiarity i can scavenge from all the disorderliness. everything changes too fast. It is such a pain to hold on when everything is being devoured up in a swirling whirlpool of Change.
Constancy, be thy name is Woman.
i think i shall go sleep now.