These days are a mad jumble of highs and lows, spent in a reckless almost bordering on irreverent ,lassitude. I really do not know where to place the comma accurately so I chose to so arbitrarily.You have every allowance to read this as a valiant attempt to dismantle Order and embrace Anarchy.
I do not know what i want anymore and this is a very scary, unsettling position to be in. I feel strangely anchorless and devoid of any coherent emotion. Everything seems oddly syncretized together like all the minerals and nutrients so effortlessly packaged in one tiny capsule promising cure for a dozen ailments. Everything seems to be striving to find some semblance of Order against all the jarring disorderliness. Being a literature student , i could locate all this hybridization of emotions with obscure theories like Globalization and Acculturation and feel strangely competent and secure in my resourcefulness. Of course, all of this is utter crap- the sheer naivete of an urgent desperation to reclaim one's dwindling Self-belief. I have an exam today. This should explain the desperation of using heavy sounding jargon-realities of which doesn't really live up to all that eloquence. okay, all this act about Globalization and other such cultural nonsense was just a note to Self to get back to what I should really be doing at this strange hour of the morning.
Everything seems predictably silent at this hour. There seems to be Peace, rather some poor substitution of it. It all feels so despairingly delicate and fragile like thin shards of coloured glass that prickles when you accidentally step on it but crumbles under your feet. Poise or the lack of it. This Mind is a curious tangle. If I were not Me, I would have loved to inspect this Madness with more clinical precision. It is strangely heartening to see how I can make such a fetching display of my Ignorance with such casual disregard. And the best part is there won't be too many people reading my nocturnal rantings, so i can afford to duck and silently creep away with some dignity intact. Not that I care much but one must always put up a Show and it is only much more convenient to pretend to care, to glaze one's meaningless monologue with some semblance of normative behaviour.
In other news, Love and Life makes for an extraordinary pair. Both can be transmuted into the other with such simplistic resolve that it almost becomes an oddity to talk about such fancy words with that convincing degree of reverence intact. Life is one big never ending extended joke. You just need to figure out how to laugh at the right moment. Love makes that laughter so much easier.
i can't help but crack up inside as to how dreadfully impersonal and vague i can afford to be on this blog.
On second thoughts, I wish i could really write about things that really matter.
I do not know what i want anymore and this is a very scary, unsettling position to be in. I feel strangely anchorless and devoid of any coherent emotion. Everything seems oddly syncretized together like all the minerals and nutrients so effortlessly packaged in one tiny capsule promising cure for a dozen ailments. Everything seems to be striving to find some semblance of Order against all the jarring disorderliness. Being a literature student , i could locate all this hybridization of emotions with obscure theories like Globalization and Acculturation and feel strangely competent and secure in my resourcefulness. Of course, all of this is utter crap- the sheer naivete of an urgent desperation to reclaim one's dwindling Self-belief. I have an exam today. This should explain the desperation of using heavy sounding jargon-realities of which doesn't really live up to all that eloquence. okay, all this act about Globalization and other such cultural nonsense was just a note to Self to get back to what I should really be doing at this strange hour of the morning.
Everything seems predictably silent at this hour. There seems to be Peace, rather some poor substitution of it. It all feels so despairingly delicate and fragile like thin shards of coloured glass that prickles when you accidentally step on it but crumbles under your feet. Poise or the lack of it. This Mind is a curious tangle. If I were not Me, I would have loved to inspect this Madness with more clinical precision. It is strangely heartening to see how I can make such a fetching display of my Ignorance with such casual disregard. And the best part is there won't be too many people reading my nocturnal rantings, so i can afford to duck and silently creep away with some dignity intact. Not that I care much but one must always put up a Show and it is only much more convenient to pretend to care, to glaze one's meaningless monologue with some semblance of normative behaviour.
In other news, Love and Life makes for an extraordinary pair. Both can be transmuted into the other with such simplistic resolve that it almost becomes an oddity to talk about such fancy words with that convincing degree of reverence intact. Life is one big never ending extended joke. You just need to figure out how to laugh at the right moment. Love makes that laughter so much easier.
i can't help but crack up inside as to how dreadfully impersonal and vague i can afford to be on this blog.
On second thoughts, I wish i could really write about things that really matter.
