I do not know what to name this...

I hate starting my every post with "i know it has been ages since i last posted..." but then again *in a reflective voice*....it's been actually really ages since i last posted .. *sighs* n i really do not have any apt exscuse for it save lethargy and an abysmal state of mind gyrating between intense frenzy and optimism [even when u know, u are not even aware of half the things existing in your syllabus...forget even preparing for them]to severe pessimism and frustration heightened by an uncontrollable bitter tongue that lets itself loose on any unsuspecting victim remorselessly...yess, i ritually go through these loser-like "i do not know what i want" phases and end up bickering,fighting,shouting,cursing at all those people who sadly do care for me and stoically puts up with my indifference and idiocy and still puts in an effort to make me smile..
guys, i know i have lost count of how much i really owe you all especially to rituparna who has borne the brunt of my relentless tirades for the past seven years now...but it would really do me a world of good to have some sense knocked into me especially when i am on this loser-like mode..
i have one of these shocking pink wannabe t-shirts which is so in-your-face and screams out aloud "yes, i am spoilt..so what's your point??"...okk i just confessed i am a loser..this was just to further accentuate my loser quotient[ from henceforth i'll reffer to it simply as LQ]
one of my friends who incidentally is my blogging inspiration cuz he first introduced me on blogsphere says that "blogging is like this tonic" which refreshes your mind and basically reminds you of a better way to kill time rather than scaling new heights of joblessness every passing day..
come to think of it, i owe a lot to abhishek. with 2009 drawing to a close, there has been so many unexpected yet significant series of incidents in my life.
it's been almost a year now since i got to know a certain Abhishek Pal who happened to be this arrogant, over-confident, overtly presumtuous Mr Know it all who happened to believe he is god's gift to mankind..n to make matters worse he happened to be riju's best buddy and ritz's best friend n all my close friends absolutely adored him.His definition of himself went something like "I AM A MALFUNCTIONING,OBTUSE,ATHEISTIC,IRRITATING,EXTROVERT, SARCASTIC, PSYCHOTIC,IMPISH,MEGALOMANIAC ,MASQUERADING YET A HARMLESS CREATURE" especially after this, i am sure you cannot blame me for labelling him as arrogant and too big for his boots..Now i really want to believe, i am this perspicacious girl who is blessed with this gift of reading people's minds..in fact i am also a little arrogant and egoistical in my own sweet way i suppose..
so abhishek n me, our journey started on a v bad note...the beginning was anything but grand with me pointing out in a cloyingly sweet voice that could be well mistaken as the voice of superiority that "advice" is a noun and "advise" is a verb..hehehehehe..
amazing how certain incidents that reached explosive heights of idiocy at some point of time manages to bring a smile onto your face when you think bout it later..yess i do smile when i think bout dat incident now
what followed that debacle was even more surprising for me. My friends actually went out of their way to convince me how great Mr Pal supposedly was.He was this apparently "caring, understanding" person who juggled both academics and extra curricular activities with aplomb and grace that was enviable.riju convinced me to read his blog...and at that point of time, i was blissfully unaware of what a "blog" was.
However, some things i guess are pre-destined and great minds are meant to interact..lolzz..The IMPOSSIBLE happened, both of us mutually decided to resolve our childish differences and whatever grudges we had against each other and become "friends"..and yess with help from abhishek, i created my own account on blogger and wrote my first ever post..i returned the favour, by reading his every post on his blog and i admit i was speechless and absolutely floored by his writing. Being in JUDE now, i surely have come across a lot of good writers now but i still retain,he is one of the finest writers i have ever come across. I was dumbstruck by the sheer brilliance and intricacy of his writings and amazed at the plethora of talent that unfolded before my eyes as i read each of his posts.i admired the way he effortlessly balanced both the vernaculars and english language.
We went on to become firm friends with him being a pillar of strength and support during the most indecisive phase of my life when every day found me closer onto the path of disillusionment and derangement.He was like this "beacon of hope" amidst the darkness.i remember all the lengthy text messages,the conversations and those words of wisdom.i had some idea then why all my friends actually adored him so much.This guy could do anything for his friends.
Today, i still find him irritating at times especially when he starts puling my leg, i still keep correcting his english....sometimes even when he is right, i have to prove him wrong with my air of superiority intact... but he scores every time over me, i humbly confess..but today, i would say i am truly lucky to have a friend who is not only supremely talented but a very good human being..
it was nice meeting abhishek,sam,sakallya n maddie this 25th...we had one of our trademark uninterrupted crap talking sessions that was indeed reinvigorating and revitalizing....i remember, my childish enthusiasm and eagerness when i started describing our apparently exciting syllabus for the next semester and abhishek's rapt attention...he is one of those few people outside JUDE with whom i can talk bout my syllabus and not run the risk of getting bored cuz it's books and literature which has always been our binding factor..Somewhere today amidst all that superficial arrogance,today i know who my friend truly is and i have got this immense respect and admiration for him..
I have lost so many things this year,i guess, i myself, have lost count of what i have truly lost but amidst all the darkness and the uncertainty i have gained certain friends and looking back, now i know, i could never have wished for anything more..
i really do not know why i actually wrote this today..guess i suddenly remembered the "advice" and "advise" incident and could not help not smiling and remembering my one-time enemy and now friend..lolzz..and i also remembered what made me start blogging in the first place..
i'll get back to blogging again regularly v soon..
i will...

THE WALL!!

i know its been a hell lot of time since i last posted in my v much dysfunctional blog..but i assure u ..my absence from the bloggin circuit was purely out of a sense of innate lethargy and boredom...i clarify it was anything but circumstantial..

I have gone through a vast plethora of emotions the past few weeks. Some of these emotions have been momentary and their fleeting presence in my life have left me feeling dazed...thankfully..*sighs*...i have struggled yet again to regain conscious and have vehemently tried to protect the balance that i had consciously created in my life...This time,I decided.. i wouldn't let THEM win..yet what Victory..what fight am i talking about??...over the past few months..i had deliberatly n consciously created a protective wall around myself...a wall which is strong n impenetrable and the perfect facade to the overtly sensitive..scared..insecure individual lurking beneath...This WALL was everything that I was NOT and EVERYTHING that i wanted to be..I wanted to believe my WALL was strong,impassive intransigent,independent as opposed to the delicate,fragile confused soul within..it gave me the power..the succour to fathom the beauty n uncertainity of life..it gave me the strength to fight..to survive and to WIN...
But this WALL is sadly disintegrating today....
THis WALL will cease to exist ..the day all the people who helped to create this WALL ceases to exist in my life..
the pain of separation is something which i have learnt to live with now..out of necessity n sheer compulsion than out of desire..yet at times..much to my utmost annoyance n frustration..this pain re emerges like some sort of a decapitated..dismembered spirit from the Past and leaves me feeling tainted..mutilated...and yet again Insecure..
these r the moments..when i silently cower behind my WALL..behind its strong..reassuring..inscruatable presence..
these r the moments when i want to believe i am beautiful n the luckiest girl on this planet..
these r the moments..when i escape in my own world that i have again created for myself..
these r the moments when i count all the people who matter to me in my life n try n obliterate the scars of all the unpleasant memories in my life..
these r the moments when i want to LIVE..when i actually want to fight back with a new surge of optimism..
These r the moments..when i try to fall in love with myself all over again!!

All these moments brings me closer to myself...

this is just one of those days when i am at the end of my tether..when nothin works out n leaves me musing at the futility of all the mundane aspects of life..this is just one of those days when i sit down n THINK..

i am sure this phase will soon pass..n the cheerful..exuberant, optimistic girl u all know will be back..

P.S
I have been lately counting all the people who matter the most to me these days...
n i admit..i feel truly BLESSED to have u all in my life..i love u all..u guys r shit important to me..

Amrita...[its d narcissistic me speaking..yet again}

of vermillion...dhaak n finally d end of it all..

okk durga puja is over..*takes a deep breadth*..

the frenzy..the excitement..the meeting up with old friends....first meetings in some cases..the smell of the new clothes..the parade in front of the mirror for the umpteenth time much to the exasperation of the other inmates of the house to see wether you are looking your best...dabbing generous amounts of kohl under your eyes and the touch of gloss to get that perfect bohemian chic look before you finally step out in style....the pulsating rythm of the dhaak which leaves you yearning for more...trying out the 'twist' n 'masakali' steps oblivious of the hundreds of people watchin you...gyrating to the frenzied beats of the dhaak with the dhunuchi balanced precariously on top of your head....awestruck by the sheer brilliance of the lights....glitter....fluffy white balloons up in the air..children laughing..mothers holding their hands tightly so that they do not lose their way in the frenzied milieu...the vast multitude of people everywhere dressed up in their new attire..contented..happy..you actually start wondering..how you have lived in calcutta ever since the time you chose to exist and had actually never realized that it comprised so many people??....you look around and you can sense the excitement..it is palpable..you identify with the smiling faces..the sense of absolute freedom and independence...the joy of finally going out alone with friends...the initial surge of emotion when you finally see someone you had been dying to meet after ages..the hugs..the hand shakes or sometimes just a smile is enough to tell them that they had been missed...the incessant late night adda sessions,,pandal hopping...going back home dead tired at four in the morning...and then lapsing into that enviable state of blissful somnolence....getting up late in the mornings just in time for 'pushpanjali'....and then its yet another day of festivity...of having junk food from the cheap road-side stalls....not really caring bout the amount of calories you are taking in..yet another adda session with your para cum school cum college friends...of mushy love stories and love at first sight romances; durga puja is an expression of freedom and happiness...everyone is equal on the five days that mother is here..we are all her children....no one is rich and no one is poor when Ma is here....

this puja was however a revelation of sorts....i discovered new 'kindred spirits' in my life yet again and for the first time i was supremely happy...i always had these childhood fantasies that 'kindred spirits' would come into my life during my times of distress [would drop down from heaven to be more precise]..and would have a halo round their heads so that i could easily identify them...but in reality such things really do not happen..they come into your life when you are least expecting them and then they leave an indelible impression behind...sometimes you meet them under the most unexpected circumstances....sometimes it's just a hilarious episode that makes you bond with them or just one fated bus journey or simply a 'fight'....but they end up becoming an indispensable part in your life..the bottom-line is.. kINDRED SPIRITS DO EXIST!!...

i woke up on doshomi morning to realize that everything was about to end.. and it was with a queer feeling of sadness mixed with this sense of deja vu that i trudged sombrely upto my para pandal to have my last discourse with MA before she left for her pleasure-dome....but i was awaited by a different spectacle all together....i saw women resplendently clad in red bordered white saris engaged in "sindur khela"...for the first time maybe i saw vermillion in this different light but there was no mistakening the glow on their faces as the newly married women smeared vermillion onto each other.....its amazing how beautiful the quintessential true indian beauty truly is just like Ma..who is austere..pristine yet impassive..intransigent...the vermillion signified something more than just them being married..it was the epitome of bonding for all these women who embraced each other and smeared 'sindur' on each other's fore-head united by the common thread of bondage that at times segregrate a woman from a girl...a mother from a daughter..

it was a beautiful sight..something which is ineffable and cannot really be comprehended by a mere eighteen year old girl with abysmal maturity and understanding..

i am still trying to understand the "quintessential indian beauty"

this post today is more for all the kindred spirits in my life than for anyone else....

The Brighter side of Life...

Some not-so fascinating, hard truths of life that you are priviledged to experience, the moment you step out of the cocoon of school life and cross the 'seven seas' to be one with the universe at large..ie ..your initiation to the place of your dreams....of unparalelled independence....of frequent off-periods...of 'happening' places further accentuated by an equally 'happening' ..ultra cool gang....only to discover that this was not the independence that you had craved for in your wildest dreams....this was not the vision of your dream-land that you had conjured up in your mind in moments of passionate frenzy...suddenly, you realize with a jolt..you desperately want to extricate youself from the tenacious grip of reality...only that you do not have the return ticket.....so what do you do then..??some wise people have already said that the secret of happiness lies in acceptance and even if you do not subscribe to this view..acceptance does seem the most logical solution at this point of time...so even before you realize ..you have already got accustomed to the ways of the world...and then slowly and inevitably..the sweet, poignant,cherished memories of school days....days filled with sunshine, innocence and vulnerablity recedes into the innermost recesses of your mind.....at times, nostalgia overflows and you look back at them wistfully, shouting out aloud to a particularly indifferent passer-by.."those were the best days of my life"...this paticularly indifferent passer-by then bestows you a particularly pitiable look and you then fully conscious of your stupid statement..moves on with life..not caring to spare even a furtive glance back at the road already travelled......

But as i said before acceptance does at one point of time lead to happiness....

so here goes my lame effort to capture the most enjoyable moments of college in my blog..

Well i'll go a step forward by actually saying that i love JUDE now....Upasana saw my previous post and was damn pissed off with me....so i apologize now...n upasana and chandrima..i just LOVE YOU GUYZ...and i am not exactly trying to hit on you both,,hehehe..

i love it when i have to half run, half wade, through the slush en route the S9 bus stand to be greeted by an ever smiling bunch of idiots who shout out aloud in unision "You are late yet again!!"...[am not generally late but prannoy n rajarshi is always before time n rats just manages to be on time while ritu is the self confessed late lateef..she has this whole history behind her for being late right from her school days so it isn't too surprising..]...but lately the 5 of us rarely make it together in the mornings due to different timings but we do make an effort to match our timings when we return home after a hard day's work [read:2 periods of incessant core classes-bunking ED's for me- relegiously devoting some time at milan da's and ah yess..SCM when the weather is nice and v feel particularly indulgent and yess how could i forget, as kalpan n dipankar calls it a considerable amount of "jheeling" these days for the necessary socializing bit..you see we judeans have this entire reputation of being highly sociable people....so this more or less can be safely categorized under "hard day's work" bit..lolzz]..but yess i just lost the thread again [this is so like me]...

so as i said, we do make an effort to match our timings while returning home, sometimes squeezing in unplanned pleasure trips to SCM...its this 'effort' which matters and its this 'effort' again which still binds us together months after school....wether its giving missed calls to each other for no apparent reason whatsoever in the middle of the class or texting some profane languages to rats just for the sake of time pass and ahh yess stalking chin chin throughout the university, irritating cole,hitting sayan n teasing prannoy with my trademark question "tor bepare kisob sunchi jeno??"replete with the v amritaish voice of supressed laughter n attempted seriousness at the same time..lolzz...its such a reassurance to know that half the people i love and adore are just at the other side of the university and i just need to text them once [ cuz its cheaper that way..lolzz] to let them know that i am missing them n i need them by my side....yet some things definitely have changed...rats is at his "keta marofying" best these days...n ritu is attempting to set the stage on fire with her new found dancing skills..never did i imajine in my wildest dreams that i would live to see the day when she would be performing onstage...i on the other hand have become even more voluble n is proudly scaling new heights of carelessness these days....the "terrefic trio" still does exist in spirit even today but i can sadly see the equations between the three of us changing as we struggle to cope with the fact that we have "new friends" ....rats, all that i can tell you is that no matter how many new friends, me n ritu we both have...you will always remain special and no one can really take your place in our lives..the bond that we three share is special and is not so WEAK..!!!

Sub has changed a lot over the last few months as is evident from his newly created orkut account....IIT has definitely contributed a lot to his new found lingo which is going down v well with my idiotic friends..sub..theres really nothing to be so proud of learnin such objectionable slangs and hurling them at each n everyone..lolzz..n i am serious..but its amazing to know that even though shaggu n sub are separated from us "geographically"..nothing has really changed....[read: we still abuse each other and talk crap like we used to ..in fact sub is talking a hell lot of crap these days..]

yet i miss riju even though we have bonded even more strongly in the last few months...bro, there is this sudden urgency within me to share so many things with you which i have to brutally supress...i just can't wait to meet u..

though there is this still major SLS hangover enveloping my life...i can say i am enjoying lot in JUDE land these days..accentuated all the more by the presence of the two new found kindred spirits, upasana n chandrima in my life..i really do not know what would i have ever done without you two...i never thought i would actually find an extension of myself in college, but i did find you both..its amazing how well we have bonded in such a short time...i love it the way you two actually take the patience to listen to all my never-ending crap, babysit me and try and get me out of the stickiest situation possible...i love upasana's hyperactivness, her cute "popeye" voice and the way she jumps up n down when shez excited..yet there's so much more to her than what just meets the eye..shez a dynamite and i love you for your spirit and accepting me for what i am....chandrima..well shez my first friend in college and shez actually the one who changed my entire definition bout JUDE....shez a fighter and a survivor...its impressive, the way she turns the most unfavourable situation to her advantage..i love the way she silently and powerfully commands respect..unlike upasana n me she is more restrained... but again,unlike both of us she fights back when required with enviable confidence while me n upasana are left tongue-tied..i love the way she constantly monitors my actions so i do not land myself into trouble time and again which i am perfectly capable of...

i know i have said this to you both a hundred times before but i'l say this again..i really love you both and you two r shit important to me...thank you guyz for being there for me...

even though a lot has changed, while a lot still remains the same.... i know for sure that a part of myself has changed for the better while another part of me has died for ever..its the pessimistic, negative part of me that i have killed today so that i can have ample room for optimism in future...

AMrita..[its me back again!!]

S9 n US!!!!!!!!!

Its time i sit down n write yet another post....yess its been really that long!!..i ended my previous post on a v depressin note..something that i am really ashamed of now because its v much unlike the real, exuberant, bubbly Amrita...but guyzz this Amrita that i am talking about is incomplete [read:nothing] without her friends....
I would have to say God has been extremely kind to me and i can do out with that tinge of nonchalance in my voice with ease now...yess the TERREFIC TRIO IS BACK again!!!.,..its really asking too much from Providence when you want your two best friends to be with you in college....but even the impossible does become possible at times...
So you would find 3 friends..one voluble....the other restrained and the third armed with new innovative ways to irritate me....the three of them trudging up the bus-stand wading through generous amounts of mud when relatively dry n slush when the Weather is not so kind and thoughtful..and yess you would find them making way to their favourite bus which would take them to their destination that talks of promises galore... especially whem the three of them decides to sit together....you'll find them unoblivious to the other occupants of the bus...immersed in their own cheerful banter... reminiscent of their blissful school days most of the time..sometimes the topic does shift to the oh-so -usual hot girls n hunks in college and their romantic exploits...sometimes ragging becomes the sole crux of their discussion..with girl no1 boasting of extremely friendly,sophisticated,intellectual seniors who condemns ragging as cheap and unintellectual....girl no 1 frequently elucidates every point by talking about the huge intellectual contrast between her department and theirs..[the other 2 sadly belongs to the same dept]..and also she has this habit of lecturing you blue into the face....After an eventful 1 hour highly rejuvenated..you would find cthe three warriors ready to combat any circumstances that comes their way as long as they have each other to fall back upon....sometimess girl no 1 is extremely elated to find other people from the SLS brigade and even a ignorant passer-by cannot miss out that that look of ineffable happiness as she exuberantly n cheerfully blurts out.."idiots...wassup with you guys!!"...those are the best moments of her life....nostalgia overflows and sometimes you would find her pushing back a tear or two..there's no reason for her to cry....yet sometimes things such as they have all "grown up".."mature individuals"...becomes suddenly starkly evident to her leaving her a bit shaken..To her "growing up" is something that does not come gratis but with a generous helping of increasing "detachment"..its this increasing detachment that brings tears to her eyess..girl no 1 is too sensitive for her own good..
girl no1 has made lots of friends in her department too..some shez indifferent to..some she absolutely adores..some she thinks are v sweet n ahh..the inevitable some..who keeps on reminding her..that therez so much that they know and she doesn't..its good in a way ..she feels at times..
Lately, girl no 1 has become v passionate about her chosen field and shez determined to be a winner this time..all in all unlike her previous thread of thoughts bout people being extremely unfriendly, distant and disinterested...her new opinion is definitely a departure from the previous and is more inclined towards being increasingly positive....and a large dosage of this positivity comes from the presense of her two best friends..she knows she can run to them whenever she wants to..
finally its the end of yet another hectic day and you would finds..RAts, Ritu n Amrita seated in S9 heading back home..ah sweet home..especially after a tired day....you would find dishevelled hair,tanned faces..but that look of vitality as they fill in each other in turn about how their day has been is unmistakable...
S9 is just not a bus for them....
m just too tired now...so i'll pause my post here..but therez more to S9 than just this....
missing SLS a lot.....
Amrita..[a part of my former self is back again..ritu..i love u]

THE EPOCH IN MY LIFE!!!

What's this weird thing about life.....there's this phase when you are dying to get something...you know this is it..this is what you want to do with your life and then the next moment..when you have got what you thought what you wanted, you suddenly look back and realize..you have got it all messed up!!..and then even before you realize it..you are actually skating on thin ice....its like the coveted cherry on the top of your ice-cream that tastes pathetically "sour"...i know i sound like one of those cliched 'difficult to please' types..who spend most of their times groaning bout the dismal treatment meted out to them by "Life"..especially when "Life" has been particularly fair and just to me....but somewhere i can't really help it. The truth about "LIfe" is that..He is the Big Boss and you have to accept that sooner or later....He always does have the upper hand..I hate it ..when someone tells me "its all destiny, dear..you can't go against god's wishes"..there's this vain, supercilious voice at the back of my mind desperatly urging me to blurt out then "You mind your own business while I mind mine...i choose my destiny..i don't let it choose mine!!"..in most cases, religiously living up to the bestowed tag of being arrogant and too straightforward for my own good, i have voiced my opinions vociferously which naturally never went down too well with my so called "well-wishers"....but the distorted truth about life is that some things are really predestined and its best you accept that...More than an after-thought, i write this post in a state og agitation and frustration....agitated; because i had not reflected once about what i was letting myself into, swayed by a insane, passionate frenzy...and frustrated..because..i do not see a way out of this quagmire..
I had always wanted to study eng hons..as i always nurtured a passionate, romantic frenzy of the concept of studying eng hons....its the place where you get to show your creative prowess..weave magic with your words...open up new untramelled vistas of all the highly energetic and inspiring political theories, romantic novels..it was the place where you get to read all those gripping, scintillating novels that you never got to read in school as your so called 'text-books'...spend hours in the land of literature romancing your favourite authors..it was the place where you had the choice to choose your own books..[after having spent two agonizing yearsin the materialistic world of science..i was lookin for a respite from the 'logical' tirade]...in a way you could say...studying english was to me akin to taking a trip in the land you love....you have always wanted to embrace, ever since the time you got hooked to the world of enid blyton..the world of pixies, elves, fairies,,boarding-school..and ah yess..the frenzied world of magic!!!..Magic Realism!!!, i prefer to call it now....the land where surrealism replaces your unromantic. materialistic Reality...so maybe i guess i was destined to be disappointed. I was in seventh heaven [read:super excited} when i suddenly found out i could call myself a JUDEan...trust me..[please do trust me on this one]..i have always wanted to be a JUDEan..have dreamt, fantasized about the concept so much that even before the results had actually come out..i would actually behave as if i was already there...so it was with mixed feelings i recieved the news..i was undoubtely elated [read: i spent the entire night awake pacing in my room, dreaming about all the new unexplored horizons that was going to open up]...in a way, gettin JU..marked a new epoch in my life..a bend in the journey of my life that alone had the immense fortitude to change my life forever....i quote one of my seniors saying this to me "You can either make or break your life at JU..the choice is ultimately yors!"...i felt myself weighed down by the immense debt of gratitude that i felt for God for blessing me with this opportunity at the most crucial juncture of my life..
So it was with a lot of pre-conceived opinions about it being highly acclaimed and offering the best courses in Calcutta, i went to class..having astronomical expectations from my three year stint at JU....and also i have heard oh so much about the so called "congenial" ambience...the secret in order to be happy is to stop expecting anything from life..there you go...am truly a genius when it comes to preaching and not practising all the advices that i so munificently hand out..
but somehow JU did not appeal to me....in a matter of few seconds [read:hours]..the image that i had created in my mind was smashed...somehow to me everyone seems to be disinterested, disinclined, unfriendly.....the floodgates opened up in my heart..and every moment that i seem to spend there reminds me of my days spent at SLS, the fun,the frolic, the camaraderie,the fights...the mimicry,the link-ups...as opposed to the silent. indifferent, cynical temparament that has come to describe "ME" today...the most frightening thing was that when i suddenly looked at myself today in the mirror..i was shocked to see a v disinterested person staring back at me..the look of vitality and the gregarious nature that had always been a part of myself was distinctly missing..i really do not remember the last time when i had laughed heartily over some joke which one of my many idiotic feriends used to crack ritually..i would do anything to getback to my 'idiotic' friends now...more than the apparent idiocy that describes them..its their simplicity which made all of us bond so strongly..its this simplicity which is definitely missing at JU and again its this simplicity which i am looking for here....ah so much for all the fantasies and dreams!!!...yess i can see that cruel, self-satisfied satanic smile on the Devils countenance that seem to spell out the infamous adage "do not count your chickens before they are hatched"....
But as i said..coming to JU does mark a v vital epoch in my life..something within me tells me ..my life is about to change forever!!..it might be for the better or for the worse..i do not know why but i think..the propensity is more on the latter..yet i am hoping that just lyk a zephyr amidst my disillusionment..JU would come to symbolize my haven just as it did 5 yrs back when i joined SLS..with uncertainity to bank upon then....i am hoping for the best and yess i do not hav any choice today other than to succumb into the hands of Destiny...
Amrita..[in a pathetic attempt to rediscover myself yet again]

A DAY WELL SPENT

After a long time,I could look back and say that yesterday was a day well spent without regretting anything.After a long time, i went out with two of my best friends, Ritu n Rats for the first day first show of NEW YORK....somehow our timings never seem to coincide together,with me being extremely eccentric and given to severe mood swings,ritu failing on most occasions to convince her mom and Ratul [busy bee] always seem to have prior appointments... so it's rare to see the three of us ending up at the same place,same time together...and revisit all the cherished memories that we three have spent together....growing up!!.
Lately, i have become sort of a recluse as opposed to the gregarious, outgoing extrovert i once was...maybe as a result of my peristent failures or simply due to my impending exams.With all my exams finally over, i relented easily towards this outing. since i had missed rat's birthday treat just the day before, i did not want to be the spoil-sport on this occasion as well and also i was really lookin forward to meet Ritu after a long time. As usual, i arrived fashionably late..lolzzz and was taken aback to find both of them actually before time for the first time.
The movie has been labelled 'unwatchable' going by the T2 review. The highly exaggerated and overrated T2 review was further accentuated by the words '150 mins of complete boredom'...i somehow disagree...maybe it wasn't great, neither was it flawless or impeccable in any sense but still it was v much 'watchable' in every sense..and i seriously do not regret spendin 90 bucks.maybe i'm a bit biased because the movie revolve round 3 friends n we were also 3 friends together in the movie hall but nevertheless the movie was highly emotional and had some defining moments which did tug at my heart-strings.i did identify with the character of Omar, torn between his love for Katrina's Maya and his loyalty to his best friend Sameer on one hand and his betrayal on the other hand.in a very simple way it hints at a v distorted theory of life-- whom you percieve to be your worst enemy is in reality your truest well-wisher....sounds weird but yess its v much plausible...
The end was unpredictable and so director Kabir khan scores brownie points on that note.the peppy "yaaron" number made me nostalgic and brought back lots of memories of school life which was heightened by the presense of two of my closest friends n even before i realized, my eyes had become moist.a lot of memories came back suddenly to me.
I still remember the day when Rats first came to my house for Premraj sir's tuition in cls 9...previosly our maths tuition comprised only two freaked out specimens, me and Ritu. So we were both a little bit apprehensive of this "new" inclusion to our group.we were v possessive of our privacy..lolzz.Even though i had known Rats, ever since i was a little kid n used to study at CGHS, still before that, we were never exactly 'close' friends.His initiation to our group was however a defining moment and ever since then,we three have bonded v strongly....the two years passed in a daze and suddenly we found ourselves in cls 11, with no premraj sir's tuition to fall back upon.However surprsinglyly instead of weakening the bond between 'the terrefic trio' strengthened with time.The only visible change was the fact that me n ritu stopped calling ratul, 'ratullaaa' n started calling him 'rats' [no rats, u don have to get inflated, it has got no relation to a certain Samadrita saying out of the blue that you resemble Imran Khan..lolzz]...but Rats it did become....he is v much proud of his 'wig' trick n his paintings and was upset with me as i had not talked about them explicitly in my post about him..so ok guyz let me enlighten you about his myriad talents in diverse fields...
He always used to entertain us with his pathetic jokes and his infamous "wig trick" [ highly publiscized: courtesy, RItu and yours truly]..even my sis found it highly entertaining.His artisic endeavours for me however lies unparalleled...and sometimes some of his drawings...showed signs of a 'true genius' besotted by art..and no maybe for the first time..i am not exaggerating...Its amazing, the way he hand paints most of the shirts he wear....rats..next time i want a hand painted shirt for both me and ritu..and if you agree, we three can start a business as well..you will look after the artistic department while me n Ritu would conveniently look after the finance department...lolzz..
Ritu on the other hand has been my bestest friend for a long time ..so it wasn't premraj sir's tuition which brought us close..but still our bond strengthened as we started 'reading minds' and 'faces'...this girl is really clairvoyant in a weird quirky sort of a way...she seems to understand a lot of untold things and the way she handles pressure and excessive stress is highly commendable....this girl never fails to intrigue me and they say 'experience is your best teacher'..i have learnt a lot just by being a silent [not so silent at times] spectator of her life..
So the three of us that day had a highly exhilarating time, heightened by our brief stint at KFC....and the snaps that we clicked..am sure the three of us resembled lunatics who were out of their mind in our quest to find someone who would be more than ready to click a snap of the three of us together...it was perfectly hilarious, the way i confidently went up to the security-man to get our snaps taken, who politely refused..straight to my face..hehehe..
The much talked about snaps are however not with me...and so when i myself can lay my hands on it, i'll publish it on my blog....
I really had a good time and for me it was a trip down memory lane...few moments of togetherness with two of my closest friends, i don't think i could ever ask for anything more....even though we have grown up now, beneath the garb of an 18 yr old responsible, mature [am talking about you 2, keep me out of this..am still yet to become responsible], individual lies three children always in the lookout for security and familiarity...it was this security and familiarity that we three had felt in Premraj sir's tuition and that is the reason why we are so comfortable with each other....something, tells us we were destined to meet Sir n go to the same tuition..because this iconic tuition paved the way for this beautiful friendship that we share today..
Ritu and Rats..i need to congratulate you two for your brilliant results this year..JU calling..lolzzz...i hope we three make it to the same college..am sure we'll make sure half the people at JU goes mad...Also last but not the least, i want to thank you two for always being there for me irrespective of the thousand times i have misunderstood you both...i have shouted at you both, been extremely rude at times...hurt you both in many ways..but still i somehow knew you both can't remain angry with me for long...so lolzz..i'll continue to shout at you both..i'll really miss the cheerful banter that we three shared on every topic under the sun ranging from highly philosophical, didactic lectures to the cheapest joke possible..lolzz..n ooh..yess ..sometimes censored stuff as well..how could i forget that..
i wouldn't say i'll miss you two because i know, i wouldn't ever get that opportunity to miss you both ..because you two are a v important part of my life,,,missing you guyz would be akin to missing a part of my own self..
LOve u guyz..a hell lot..n we three ROCK..[ upside down..am convinced..lolzz]

TO ALL OF YOU WITH LOVE...

there..am back again with the rest of the special people in my life... PRANNOY- You call yourself "I am the Man", i can't help saying this, "YOU ARE TRULY THE MAN!!"... you are one of those very few boys whom i respect a lot and am equally fond of.i admire your never say die spirit,and somewhere down the line,i feel you are indomitable to the point of being invincible. needless to mention, uncle, lolzz, you are truly very special to me.!!...a man of restraint, there have been very few times, when i have seen you go over-board with your emotions....yet you have always been very straight forward and subtly, you have always answered back....i have learnt "control", "restraint" and the art of talking less and delivering more from you [though sadly, i am nowhere close to implenting them in my own life]...you have always been there for me.you are never ever vocal with your emotions and so people generally tend to believe, you are very detached from this world, but i know you care....and again you are one of those very few "just" people i hav come across.we always find a lot of happiness in pulling each other's legs...lolzz, u really irritate me when you adress me as 'auntie', 'grandma'...i can go on and on..you might appear to be very serious to all those people who do not know you, but we all know what a terrefic prankster you can be when you want to be. your "ultra cool", ultra Special sense of humour always manages to have people in splits.....i am fortunate, truly fortunate to have a friend who is supremely intelligent, talented and most importantly, you are esentially a very "good" human being.i am damn lucky...god bless you..and never change no matter what...you are very special to all of us...god bless you always!!!...................... ABHIJIT aka SUB....well no..i won't be too biased when i'm writing about him.... lolzz..but i can say that..sitting in front of you, prochet, sagnik, subhankar, koustav has been very very entertaining for me...everyone knows you are an academic success but very few people know, you are crazy and weird and have a more than just "passing interest" in ultra censored movies and books..lolzz..[don't ever go by his serious countenance]..but yess, one should learn 'tenacity' and determination from you...and also the thing that i really admire about you is that you always seem to be "devoid of emotions"..lolzz am not taking into account , all the times when you used to go overboard with your emotions, and someone had to bear the brunt of it..hehehe..not that 'someone' is complaining..hehe..but still jokes apart..through your weird ways, you hav always been there..now there is a sense of "deja vu" creeping in, as i know somehow we shall all get separated and nothing would really be the same anymore but still somewhere down the line, am sure we shall all remain connected in spirit....sub, i'll really miss you a lot..i'll miss all the stupid things you used to tell me in class, your equally stupid gestures.....will miss your incoherrent speech, when you used to get excited and talk like an express train..lolzzz..i really will miss all those pathetic jokes...in other words everything..i know oneday you'll mek it big, truly big because unlike most of us, you believe in chasing your dreams...god bless you always...you have a long way to go and this is just the begining....but be just the way you are..i love you like this..........

SAGNIK...aka our very own "shaggu"...there can never be any serious moment in close proximity to this guy...hez like your 24 hrs free "entertainment" channel...having everyone in splits with his inane weird self-improvised antics....me and ritu truly agree that you are an unique sample and not everybody has such good fortune to come across such an unique specimen in his or her entire life-time.i must say, i am very lucky..lolzzz..you are terribly funny..sometimes, i really wonder how come, you managed to escape from the zoo??..but you are a very simple person and at the end of the day , its wholly your simplicity which sets you apart from all of us and gives you that 'special' place in our hearts..your simplicity ROCKS..shaggu..i still remember all the funny moments that me, ritu, rats and you shared at premraj sir's tuition..still remember your huge crush on "sayanti"..your so called "body-guard"..hehe.. and even today you.. have never ceased to entertain us with your never-ending anecdotes bout your current love-inerest.."tayeeeee"..it used to be highly entertaining, when in midst of a boring class, you used to suddenly break the silence screamin "tayeeeeee, i want you"..[sorry, no offence ritu]..but thats the way you are, weird, simple, sweet and terribly funny..you are really this highly lovable "cartoon character"..and even my sis seems to agree with this..your reputation is on the rocks, shaggu...we love you simply the way you are..distorted, crazy, topsy-turvy with your weird unparalelled sense of humour..lolzz god bless u always..never ever change ...muaaaahhhhhh..to you "specially" from me...lolzz... SAPPY.....the "DEVDAS" of our class lolzz....you always seemed to be upset bout somrthing or the other...but at the end of the day you have always been and will always remain one of my closest friends....you have always been one of my strongest support system who have been there with me throughout beside me, irrespective of me being rude to you more than once....i know i have hurt you many times but i have never ever done it deliberately..its just that i used to get irritated with your ever-complaining ang highly sentimental nature..you have to forgive me for that..i still remember how every single day, despite your getting late from your tuitions, you used to accompany me on my way home from school...you were always partcular about me reaching home safely...we both have shared a lot of memories together..have been there for each other through good times and bad....sappy,my only advice to you from me is that you have to overcome your highly emotional nature, in the long run it never does help...you are very talented, not to mention your beautiful hand-writing and your spectacular paintings..[yessi still remember your paintings]..creativity runs in your veins..and you are more talented than you yourself realize or give credit to your own self..i know this year has not been very lucky for you..but i want you to believe that only good things can happen to you from now on....never ever look back but move forward with a new zeal, a new inspiration...and never ever consider yourself to be a 'loser'[ i won't forgive you if you do]...sappy, you are truly very special to me and just remember this i am your friend..the entire world can say whatever they want to..it doesn't matter to me..i'll be there for you always...i'll really miss you a lot..god bless you..god bless my dearfriend..!!!............. SAKALLYA aka RIJU...firstly i want to tell you bro that i have increased a lot over the past few months and now i am almost 6 ft..and no..i have not yet started wearing heels...lolzz..jokes apart..dear bro, you are truly very special to me....my "confidante" in times of distress, your reassuring voice fills me with an immense sense of positivity and maybe that's solely the reason why, i do not think twice before confiding in you about my troubles....i still remember how i had started crying over the phone a few days back when things had'nt been working..and talking to you filled me with lot of "self-belief" and gave me the will to have my last tryst with adversity..in that master combat..i still do not know who succeeded but today i know whatever may be the outcome, i am prepared to face it....and thanx to you, i have the strength to do that...sakallya, you are special, truly very special to me..you are a very good human being and again you are very simple...and that's exactly the reason why i love you so much.a very talented musician but first and foremost, you are a very sweet and a caring brother to a very sweet and equally crazy sis [ yours truly..lolzz].....i have always had your support when i have needed you the most..and today i feel truly very happy for you...i love you a lot dear bro....god bless you always and whenever you need me, remember your sis is always there by your side...

there you go..am still not done yet!!..i'm very sleepy now..will get back to you guyz very soon..till then CHEERS!!!!...

FRIENSHIP RELOADED!!....

here, am back again with the second part of my narrative about what finally happens to that girl.AMRITA- NOW...extrovert, highly energetic, vivacious, super-friendly,vulnerable,talkative to the point of being garrulous, uses slangs herself at times, when she falls short of words or in moments of passionate frenzy,can be highly irritating and violent at times. also, she has this weird habit of relapsing into high octane speeches and highly philosophical discussions anyplace anytime without any notice, much to the exasperation of her innocent victims. can be quite a prankster and has also efectively featured in the notorious section of the class [brilliant acomplishment], gets punished by the teachers quite often for her insolence, but also manages to get herself associated in all the heated discussions in her class and also becomes the butt of ridicule at times and manages to keep the label of "incandescent" bulb still going strong. All in all, she has quite a eventful, happy life, a stark contrast to the depressed, irritable, frustrated girl you people had got acquainted before. ... there, its time for me to introduce you to myself and all those people who are an indispensable part of my life today..needless to mention, each and everyone of them is special, truly special to me and somewhere they all have made me into whatever i am today....nostalgia overflows and suffocates me, n even before i realize, my eyes start glistening with tears and yess ITS ALL COMING BACK TO ME!!!, laughter at the silliest joke possible, tears at the slightest reproach.. from the cacophany to reticence, from the myriad emotions to the kaleidoscope of life, i ask you all whats life sans friends...sans loved ones??...

RITU.... my bestest friend throughout SLS. you call me your sister, I call u my twin!!Knowing you, has been one of the best things which ever happened in my life. Our friendship survived a lot of turbulence, misunderstandings,but we have both overcome it and our friendship rocks and is here to stay forever. The best part about "US" is that we both understand each other so well.In moments of darkness, moments of happiness, i know i just need to turn around to find you beside me.I know, there have been times when i have been very harsh on you,but at the end of the day, all that mattered to me was your hapiness.I have learnt a lot from you.Your academic track record, your stage presense, your sense of responsiblity have always been spectacular but i have learnt the true essence of genuinely being good from you. You have taught me what "kindness" truly is.... one request however, stop being so precocious in matters related to "love" because in the end, you only end up hurting yourself.Even though i try to be your pillar of strength in times of crisis,i want to make an honest confession today.I am not so strong. It breaks me,when you come crying to me like a little child. i know, i hold you in my arms, and try to drown your tears but it breaks me inside, knowing that my best friend is unhappy.You are special..truly special to me.Sometimes, even words cannot express what silence can...so on that note, i just want you to know; i really love you a lot.......more than all my friends put together!!!God bless my dear sister always!!..

Abhishek..i call him abhi.Its difficult writing about someone whom you know so well as i know abhi.I never realized, when we had actually become so close.through good times and bad, we have always been there for each other.I really think, in our previous life, we must have been true 'siblings in spirit', judging by all the hours that we spend together talking absolute crap of no utmost importance as such. you have always been very supportive of my whims and fancies and understand me completely.You'r one person with whom i'm completely myself.i might get irritated with your overtly sentimental and emotional nature but inspite of all the teasings, the pranks that we play on each other, at the end of the day, you are a very important part of my life.we have had a lot of fun memories together and i hav enjoyed every moment of it.only you have that special right to call me a "nut-case" and get away with it.lolzz..but at times you irritte the hell out of me, but so do i..so no complaints there....no matter what, am sure we'll always be together because you are just a phone call away. i wish you all the best in life.god bless you always.you are very talented in your own weird quirky ways ..hehehe..but remember abhi, no one n i mean it when i say "NO ONE" is more special to you than "you" yourself...

RATS...ah!!..Ritu, me n Rats, the terrefic trio!..well about you. the only thing that i have to say is that your main priority in life seems to revolve around food and more food.well, jokes apart this guy has much more to him than just being a self confessed gourmet.we have both literally grown up together.i still remember all the pathetic jokes, he used to crack in a futile effort to entertain us at premraj sir's tuition.He has a habit of demonstrating his physical prowess at most unexpected times, n unfortunate me have been many a times a victim of his "blows".i'll learn karate, judo whatever n then you wait and watch.on a serious note, we have shared a lot of memories together, thanx to the close proximity of our homes.yet, under the veneer of the light-hearted friendship that we share, i have got to know a much deeper person inside.we have had our fair share of misunderstandings but we have always forgiven each other and thats what has paved the way today for the sweet friendship that we both share.A man of few words, he has a weird way of expressing his true feelings but today somewhere i have come closer towards understanding you.i really won't miss u now that school is over, because i know i can meet up with you whenever i want to.GOD BLESS U..n there'z no need for you to get so inflated and pompous when my sis say that you resemble "Daniel Radcliffe"[ i pity daniel radcliffe..hehehe..i told you..my sis is biased when it comes to a certain specimen called "Ratul"]...lolzzz...kudos to our frienship which has evolved so much over the years.!!n don't ever be under the misconception for heaven's sake, that you are God's gift to women!!!

i'm feeling v sleepy..but will get back to u guyz v soon with the rest of the "special" people in my life..

The Arrogance, The Hatred and finally The Acceptance....

I posted few pics but am sure that wouldn't suffice, if u guys really want to know about us better..hence this effort from my part...
AMRITA- 6 yrs back....snobbish, over-confident with this infamous irascible temperament...the prim and proper no nonsense girl..who detested all sorts of "non puritan" language [read: highly censored bengali slangs], hated the so called "unruly" people of her class, hated the frenzy, the excitement...she wasn't an introvert, neither was she reticent but she simply disliked interacting with such kinds of "non-intellectual" people...and found solace in the thousand books in her library...so just imagine, how difficult it must have been for a girl like her, used to strict discipline and a convent prim and proper upbringing [thanks to her previous school] , to adjust in this jungle called SLS...yess i do sympathize with her now...needless to say, she had a culture shock.
Fresh out of a school, entirely predominated by girls, imagine her horror, when fate suddenly exposed her to the so called "opposite sex"..n that too belonging to the infamous "notorious" section..
first day at school was simply torture for this girl....
second day killed her...
n the third day, she was absent for a week...
misunderstood by her family for her inablity to adjust to the new [read,torturous] environment... far from growing up into a young lady, she grew up into a REBEL..
things were difficult, very difficult..she hated her new school because she felt it was an ill-omen in her life..her coming to this new school coincided with the biggest tragedy in her life....somewhere, she needed to blame someone for her misfortune..GOD and this new school was the most convenient option...
she was frustrated, hence misbehaved with her family, her new class-mates..she hated them!!
that was her way of venting out her frustration, but people took it for arrogance.!!!
1 month in that school, she had already carved a niche for herself in that school, yes she had becom highly popular [read: unpopular] for her querolous, pugnacious nature....
things weren't easy for her because things were not so great on d home-front as well, especially when she kept on bickering with her mom over the silliest of things possible....
after she had lost the person whom she loved the most in this world, she never really had anyone whom she could come close to call that person her "friend"...in other words..she was friend-less enveloped by her iiritation and frustrations throughout..
she was frustrated because things were not going the way she had planned..
she had big dreams but instead found hersef neck-deep in a scenario , she had never even imagined in her worst night-mares..
but to every cloud, there's a silver lining as the famous adage goes..and that silver lining came ironically in the form of SLS........The acceptance..[read:initiation] to this madcaap, super frenzy, super energetic and super invigorating roller coaster ride...
but before i get into that part of the story..i need to introduce you all to all those people who changed her life..n made her into the AMRITA , her friends know today...
but for that..i need to get into the second part of the story...
sorry, mamma is calling for dinner....so will get back to u guyz very soon..with what happens to this girl...
till then..enjoy..and god bless everyone..

FEW OF THOSE SPECIAL MOMENTS WITH THOSE SPECIAL PEOPLE!!!!!

mind u..don't go by their apparently serious contenances!!!

our madcap gang!!!

there u go..the terrefic trio!!!

ritu, me n rats...best buddies forever!!

yaaa..this is my favourite pic....

L-R..our very own quirky sreya..

ritu...d love of my life..my bestesst frnd..{i am not sure wether such a word exists ..but still}jess....my darlin!!

n last but not the least, yours truly...i wonder why can't i ever click a pic ..with a serious face...

lolzz..haven't yet given up trying..

"A world without literature"

For me literature displays the quintessence of human emotions. It is an intriguing compendium of contradictions. It is the perfect canvass to display your emotions. At times, what we write, might be brazen, unmindful or simply surreal but its the divine reflection of what we believe or what we want to believe. When the trials and tribulations of the real world seems magnified and we struggle to escape from the tenacious grip of "Reality", literature becomes my benefactor and shows me the way to a new Dawn. Surrealism becomes real then and what you feel is surreal becomes unreal then.Those are the times when you start believing in the myth that even the most implausible things on this planet, can be stark reality. For me. a world without literature is like the "Elysium" sans love, a garden sans flowers and our world sans humanity.
There are people for whom literature is a way of life. In todays world, you are a goner if you aren't a pragmat but in this world of misery,poverty and the juggernaut called 'terrorism', even the strongest pragmat starts delving in the mysteries of the universe and the human mind to reassure himself, that there's a better world, a world much more beautiful, sangfroid,pristine and pure. Literature weaves this elusive, esoteric net round itself that has the magnanimous power to claim even the strongest of pragmats as its victim. People talk of their souls being taken, trust me, i would willingly get myself inebriated by the intoxicating liquor of literature.
Literature has a very special place in my life. More than a way of escaping from the real world, its the perfect archetype of my soul-mate, my only friend in times of distress. It helps me to comes closer to myself, to discover "ME" n identify my lacuna. Romanticism in literature might just be an illusion but at the end of the day, this illusion leads me to believe in the power of mysticism, the power of positivity and yes, the power within myself.
who calls my spirit to soar in the sky...
to dance and to sing and turn darkness to light..
its ME and the power within my LIFE..
O what a wonderful feeling this is!!!!
What becomes profound then..is the fact that i am invincible, inexorable and impuissant. it brings out my inner fortitude and rejuvenates my worn out self in a way even the most energetic drink on this planet can't. so for me a world without literature is like this interminable chasm which is vacous and inane. literature gives me the succour to live. The joys of escaping into a unreal surreal world might be just momentary but the implications are more than fleeting.
In a war-ravaged nation, literature acts as the invigorating saviour to mankind. The war might just be one of the zillion problems faced by mankind but literature acts as that antidote, which more than anything else strives to give mental and postive security.
Literature in the truest sense might mean those ever-green classics, but for me its the chronicles of our day to day lives.Be it a novel, classic or a satire, i find myself connecting with the characters. i identify with them, with their strengths, their weaknesses and their lives. they make my life complete and consciously or sub-consciously they become real to me. Every story i read..seems to hav this strange, uncanny resemblance to my life.maybe thats the reason why the characters in the story becomes real. almost tangible and palpable to me.
i would hate to be a part of this world without literature, predominated by the nefarious ways of Reality.the mere thought itself is stifling but the consequences might be disastrous for someone like me, maybe or maybe not. Its true, its insignificant in real world and at times obscure but for me , its "LIFE"... n MAGIC REALISM!!!!

SATANIC VERSES

I know there are a zillion topics I could choose from but with my CLAT knocking at the door and at 3 ‘o’ clock in the night, after having dedicated, gruelling two hours in methodically solving a mock test paper interrupted at intervals by the beep of my cell-phone,faithfully announcing the arrival of a SMS from one of my nocturnal allies, I had no other choice. I guess like me my nocturnal allies also found reassurance in the fact that there were other people like them who were religiously burning midnight oil in a bid to be better than the best. This is however for my friend and worst critic; forgive me dear, if like my previous post this one too ends in a rant. You have my exams and insomnia to blame.
Coming back to the topic; bear with me please. ‘Satanic verses’ does the name ring a bell?? Well, this is the famed or should I use the word defamed book by Salman Rushdie which won him recognition and criticism alike and ultimately led to his banishment from his mother-land. We say ‘freedom of speech and expression’ is a ‘fundamental right’. However,the book was labeled as ‘unlawful’ and any individual, be it an ignorant illiterate book-seller or an overtly curious teenager found in possession with that book would be subjected to rigorous punishment. I am therefore unable to tell you people about the explicit contents of that book but thanks to ‘World Wide Web’ and a certain ‘telegraph’, I figured out that the book revealed or better exposed a lot of intricate details about the religion ‘Islam’ that did not go down too well with the orthodox puritans and hence led to his banishment. How convenient? I wonder. It’s amazing, how people keep getting prosecuted for saying the truth. “Honesty is the best policy” is one of those famous proverbs which I had learnt as a toddler, but at eighteen years of age you aren’t a toddler and life forces you to come off-age. It’s really interesting how conventional principles becomes a parody when super-imposed on Reality. Anything conventional turns into a ludicrous caricature of everything unconventional. So I guess in today’s world, you have to be unconventional. So the next time, I am lying to my friends, my parents, my teacher or even to myself, I won’t be sorry. Closer introspection however reveals, its easier to tell the truth than to be lying to your own self.
However, my main motive behind this post wasn’t the ill-fated book but something, which is closer home. With an ultimatum of ten days before my CLAT exams, I have to get myself enlightened about all the current-affairs of our country. Mind you it’s a big feat with someone or the other getting murdered each day and some politician elected as the new CM in some state. It’s a miserable sight, finding myself surrounded by massive general knowledge books these days. There was a time when children used to sit glued to the television watching BQC out of sheer fascination and admiration for the quizmaster Derek ‘O’ Brien. Sometimes, these enlightening sessions surpassed study-time much to the exasperation of parents. In my case, feverishly going through the GK books is more out of necessity and sheer desperation than self-indulgence. To add to my plight, you have loud-speakers blaring at over 120 decibels in your locality trying to ignite an all-ready non-existent political fervor within the youth and urging you to vote for their political party. I am sure this is a problem faced by all students like me fervently preparing at the eleventh hour and senile people who are being robbed off their ritual after-noon siesta. However, thanks to the current affair section in my exam, I have been very much politically aware this year.
I had been following Barrack Hussein Obama throughout his historic presidential campaign. I thought of him as our “Dark Knight” and believed this one man would finally herald the coming of Dawn and would change our world. Overnight, he had become my hero after hearing his magnanimous speech “We were never the Red states or the Blue States- we were always the United States”……….
ROSA SAT SO THAT KING COULD WALK
KING WALKED SO THAT OBAMA COULD RUN
OBAMA RUNS SO THAT WE CAN FLY.
I wanted to believe this person would bring the “change that we all needed”. Needless,to say his swearing-in as the President was historic and marked a new epoch in World History. But to me he was an Inspiration. He was an Iconoclast who defied all Class barriers and reached the pinnacle of World Politics. He had the “Audacity to hope” and believed in his dream. Yes, Obama had become my hero.
So, I was very concerned about the election doing the rounds this year and wanted a person like Obama as our leader but I guess I was destined to be disappointed.
26/11 had become a playground for politics. I felt ashamed to be a part of a nation, which cashed in the emotions of the masses and turned the tragedy into a political fray. It was frustrating to read the newspaper the next day to find alongside the harrowing experiences of the survivors, an entire page depicting chronologically all the tragedies that had happened under Congress rule in the past decade by BJP. Congress retaliated by giving details of all the negative things that had happened under BJP rule in another newspaper. It was sad, that even at the face of such immense crisis, the leaders of rival parties could not come together to find a solution instead they were all trying to cash in the emotions of the people in order to garner votes for their party. So tell me, as a responsible citizen of India, whom should I vote for??
These days, you have a lot of coverage by the media on our on-going elections. Its frustrating and at times amusing as well to hear our uncountable politicians giving high octane speeches on the “change we need and the change that they’ll bring” if you vote for them that is.
Satanic verses again!!!!
I had to write about this injustice. It was heart-rending today to read how an innocent 11-month child and his mother had been shot brutally by the political activists at Nandigram. There are hundreds of such incidents which I could write about but it all zeroes down to one thing, why should we vote? and for what should we vote?? What has that child done?? What has he got to do with politics?? We are living at a place where you are forced to vote out of compulsion and under-threat. Booth-capturing is also very much rampant. Yes, it’s a democratic republic! Period. I call this “assassinnation of democracy”. All the satanic verses by the politicians start sounding sadistic. Where is the beacon of hope, that we are all looking for?? When shall we herald the coming of a new DAWN?? Yet as I said at the beginning of this post..that people keep getting prosecuted for saying the truth..so I guess it’s advisable to shut yourselves out and concentrate on the far more important things in life. Who cares about other people anyway?? This is not important!

Thoughts

There is a force that wants us to realize our dreams;it whets our appetite with a taste of success..and also as the age old saying goes when we really want something truly,the entire universe conspires in helping us achieve it.but i really wonder how true this is??Given my eccentric nature..i am very fickle minded when it comes 2 stuff i really want..Being the kind of person i am..i am well aware of all the things i don't want but am sadly ignorant of the thing i truly want..Now this is a condition i'm sure most of my peers can identify with save those people who r commited towards dere own self n dere own life..mamma says dese people belongs 2 the school of "intelligent people" who r serios bout dere own lives but i sadly belong 2 d other group ...who is confused n unsure of wat her ambition really is..so according 2 mamma..i'm placed in the school of "stupid fools"...brilliant n truthful categorization n d shameless creature that i am..i am not even complaining..Mamma says unlike my friends who r more matured than i am .."I don't think"..yess point noted.."i don't think" rather "i never think"..but i ask u people honestly ..who thought bout d carnage dat swept our nation on 26/11 n left the economic capital of our world shaken if not stirred???who could account 4 ol the lives dat were lost??i am happy to say dat my family and closed ones escapd unscathed..yess dats all v really care about.As long as v are safe..v r fine..our family is all right..d rest of the world can go 2 hell..yes..i know dere are hundreds of people like me who thinks that sumthing should be done n believes in d "greater good of mankind"..but they sadly can only think..When it comes 2 really matching words with action..our high octane speeches start losin lustre n our passion and belief starts wavering..dis sadly is 2day's youth!!! n i olso count myself as 1 of dem..no i am not being cynical..i am just being blatantly honest..More dan d violence asociated with that incident ..i was shaken by d inherrent truculent nature of man....WE hav all metamorphosized 4m human beings 2 savaages..dis statement takes me back 2 the primitive instincts of man.."jealousy","envy"...d modern man is much more sopisthicated morphologically but d essence sadly is same...Darwin's philosophy "survival of the fittest" seems to be the key..but wat fight r v fightin??Some r fightin against opression..some r fighting against illiteracy..some r fightin against dowry,infanticide,child-rights,child marriage n servitude of females...the list is surprisingly long but d pathos,angst of d victims of all the above r strikingly real...dey r tangible n palpable..We only fight against social issues but how many of us really understand d emotions of the victims if v haven't been a victim ourselves..??yet i feel..evry1 of us at sumtym or the other has been d victim of sum crime or the other..v hav ol been exploited in sum way way or the other..v hav ol suferred in d hands of FATE..
U c v hav 2 maintain an equilibrium..evrythin shud b made available 2 us in right proportions.so v r livin in this country where v hav dis huge gapin hiatus betweeen the opulent and the deprived..The affluent people hav d rights 2 evrythin .dey even hav the right 2 tek our lives...if dey want 2 n never get prosecuted ...yess dats true!!..d Deprived on the other hand pay 4 ol d crimes dat d opulent commit..u c d equilibrium has 2 b maintained!!!DIS IS LAW>>DIS IS JUSTICE!!!!...mind u in d land WHERE CRIME IS LAW,THERE R NO CRIMINALS!!Sum wise people hav said if evry1 did there own work..even if it meant cleaning their own door-steps every day or getting rid of their own personal evils..dis world would hav been a much better place..
So mamma..hope u r readin dis..i am doing my work..n dats 2 enjoy ol d moments dat i get ven i am not being conditioned by society evry moment of my lyf..if u ask me..whether i am doin right???..i'll ask u do u think God is doing the right thing???i am only a mere mortal...