I do not know what to name this...

I hate starting my every post with "i know it has been ages since i last posted..." but then again *in a reflective voice*....it's been actually really ages since i last posted .. *sighs* n i really do not have any apt exscuse for it save lethargy and an abysmal state of mind gyrating between intense frenzy and optimism [even when u know, u are not even aware of half the things existing in your syllabus...forget even preparing for them]to severe pessimism and frustration heightened by an uncontrollable bitter tongue that lets itself loose on any unsuspecting victim remorselessly...yess, i ritually go through these loser-like "i do not know what i want" phases and end up bickering,fighting,shouting,cursing at all those people who sadly do care for me and stoically puts up with my indifference and idiocy and still puts in an effort to make me smile..
guys, i know i have lost count of how much i really owe you all especially to rituparna who has borne the brunt of my relentless tirades for the past seven years now...but it would really do me a world of good to have some sense knocked into me especially when i am on this loser-like mode..
i have one of these shocking pink wannabe t-shirts which is so in-your-face and screams out aloud "yes, i am spoilt..so what's your point??"...okk i just confessed i am a loser..this was just to further accentuate my loser quotient[ from henceforth i'll reffer to it simply as LQ]
one of my friends who incidentally is my blogging inspiration cuz he first introduced me on blogsphere says that "blogging is like this tonic" which refreshes your mind and basically reminds you of a better way to kill time rather than scaling new heights of joblessness every passing day..
come to think of it, i owe a lot to abhishek. with 2009 drawing to a close, there has been so many unexpected yet significant series of incidents in my life.
it's been almost a year now since i got to know a certain Abhishek Pal who happened to be this arrogant, over-confident, overtly presumtuous Mr Know it all who happened to believe he is god's gift to mankind..n to make matters worse he happened to be riju's best buddy and ritz's best friend n all my close friends absolutely adored him.His definition of himself went something like "I AM A MALFUNCTIONING,OBTUSE,ATHEISTIC,IRRITATING,EXTROVERT, SARCASTIC, PSYCHOTIC,IMPISH,MEGALOMANIAC ,MASQUERADING YET A HARMLESS CREATURE" especially after this, i am sure you cannot blame me for labelling him as arrogant and too big for his boots..Now i really want to believe, i am this perspicacious girl who is blessed with this gift of reading people's minds..in fact i am also a little arrogant and egoistical in my own sweet way i suppose..
so abhishek n me, our journey started on a v bad note...the beginning was anything but grand with me pointing out in a cloyingly sweet voice that could be well mistaken as the voice of superiority that "advice" is a noun and "advise" is a verb..hehehehehe..
amazing how certain incidents that reached explosive heights of idiocy at some point of time manages to bring a smile onto your face when you think bout it later..yess i do smile when i think bout dat incident now
what followed that debacle was even more surprising for me. My friends actually went out of their way to convince me how great Mr Pal supposedly was.He was this apparently "caring, understanding" person who juggled both academics and extra curricular activities with aplomb and grace that was enviable.riju convinced me to read his blog...and at that point of time, i was blissfully unaware of what a "blog" was.
However, some things i guess are pre-destined and great minds are meant to interact..lolzz..The IMPOSSIBLE happened, both of us mutually decided to resolve our childish differences and whatever grudges we had against each other and become "friends"..and yess with help from abhishek, i created my own account on blogger and wrote my first ever post..i returned the favour, by reading his every post on his blog and i admit i was speechless and absolutely floored by his writing. Being in JUDE now, i surely have come across a lot of good writers now but i still retain,he is one of the finest writers i have ever come across. I was dumbstruck by the sheer brilliance and intricacy of his writings and amazed at the plethora of talent that unfolded before my eyes as i read each of his posts.i admired the way he effortlessly balanced both the vernaculars and english language.
We went on to become firm friends with him being a pillar of strength and support during the most indecisive phase of my life when every day found me closer onto the path of disillusionment and derangement.He was like this "beacon of hope" amidst the darkness.i remember all the lengthy text messages,the conversations and those words of wisdom.i had some idea then why all my friends actually adored him so much.This guy could do anything for his friends.
Today, i still find him irritating at times especially when he starts puling my leg, i still keep correcting his english....sometimes even when he is right, i have to prove him wrong with my air of superiority intact... but he scores every time over me, i humbly confess..but today, i would say i am truly lucky to have a friend who is not only supremely talented but a very good human being..
it was nice meeting abhishek,sam,sakallya n maddie this 25th...we had one of our trademark uninterrupted crap talking sessions that was indeed reinvigorating and revitalizing....i remember, my childish enthusiasm and eagerness when i started describing our apparently exciting syllabus for the next semester and abhishek's rapt attention...he is one of those few people outside JUDE with whom i can talk bout my syllabus and not run the risk of getting bored cuz it's books and literature which has always been our binding factor..Somewhere today amidst all that superficial arrogance,today i know who my friend truly is and i have got this immense respect and admiration for him..
I have lost so many things this year,i guess, i myself, have lost count of what i have truly lost but amidst all the darkness and the uncertainty i have gained certain friends and looking back, now i know, i could never have wished for anything more..
i really do not know why i actually wrote this today..guess i suddenly remembered the "advice" and "advise" incident and could not help not smiling and remembering my one-time enemy and now friend..lolzz..and i also remembered what made me start blogging in the first place..
i'll get back to blogging again regularly v soon..
i will...