Anything remotely resembling habit quickly becomes the habitat for worst impulses like a creeper canoodling a concrete wall (so much for icky imagery. This is more inspired than I am letting on. There is a creeper gnawing through the living room wall, fangs blaring when observant but remarkably pliant and docile from a distance-- part of the grad school aesthete you know. Hah, creeper in living room ).
Anyway, long story short, THIS IS IT. This will be the hub to visualize all the mess, knots in my head, literally the place where I wrestle with conflicting thoughts and make a free wheeling attempt to run a wooden comb through all the unwieldy tresses. There won't be much beauty to this madness, but indeed, there would be some sort of method. After all, isn't this the place to organize the mess. So here I shall be thinking through some of my present obsessions.
politics : always the politics but this time with the poetics
pedagogy: what is even radical inclusivity sans Derridean hospitality? There I said it.
attachments : shout out to Berlant, Ahmed and Hartman
literary : again, what gives when we consider the literary without the political or as a function of the political or at loggerheads with the political. That said, I am a Glissant loyalist. In fact, I should name this blog rhizomes.
Identity politics : And against Paranoid reading. this is a special category. enough said.
love : against erotophobia
desire : pretty much desire for everything...desire for reattaching our alignment with the real. what is the real anyway?
writing : writing as an act of radical hospitality. And writers who inspire and provoke.
I am not sure much good will come from this obsessive need to calibrate every thought nugget, to pulse it into digestible granules ala Adornean babyfood, but this is a very crude attempt to inject life into tired reasonings. To re-verve and reaffirm our attachment to the political by reminding myself that tired desensitization to constant impulses will not get you, me , or anyone else anywhere. If at all, it will definitely accelerate the gutting process.
Anyway, in other news. I am teaching hopefully my last in-person course in a while, starting tomorrow. There is so much anxiety and unreconciled desire that I am not, yet, comfortable letting on here. After all, I am aware this is public flailing and even then, one must put up a show. But let this be a space to dial down knee jerk reactionary responses and participate in the hard work of thinking through this mess, with patience and care. Again, aware of how political care economy is, but hey, this is me pulling the strings in this space! I am militantly committed to preserving the sanctity of my hard limits.
Also trying to finish the dissertation this semester. Long day's journey into night.
Feels good to be back here. Last time I checked, I was really whining about unrequited love. haha. Some pleasure in the foolishness after all.
There will be typos.
