of vermillion...dhaak n finally d end of it all..

okk durga puja is over..*takes a deep breadth*..

the frenzy..the excitement..the meeting up with old friends....first meetings in some cases..the smell of the new clothes..the parade in front of the mirror for the umpteenth time much to the exasperation of the other inmates of the house to see wether you are looking your best...dabbing generous amounts of kohl under your eyes and the touch of gloss to get that perfect bohemian chic look before you finally step out in style....the pulsating rythm of the dhaak which leaves you yearning for more...trying out the 'twist' n 'masakali' steps oblivious of the hundreds of people watchin you...gyrating to the frenzied beats of the dhaak with the dhunuchi balanced precariously on top of your head....awestruck by the sheer brilliance of the lights....glitter....fluffy white balloons up in the air..children laughing..mothers holding their hands tightly so that they do not lose their way in the frenzied milieu...the vast multitude of people everywhere dressed up in their new attire..contented..happy..you actually start wondering..how you have lived in calcutta ever since the time you chose to exist and had actually never realized that it comprised so many people??....you look around and you can sense the excitement..it is palpable..you identify with the smiling faces..the sense of absolute freedom and independence...the joy of finally going out alone with friends...the initial surge of emotion when you finally see someone you had been dying to meet after ages..the hugs..the hand shakes or sometimes just a smile is enough to tell them that they had been missed...the incessant late night adda sessions,,pandal hopping...going back home dead tired at four in the morning...and then lapsing into that enviable state of blissful somnolence....getting up late in the mornings just in time for 'pushpanjali'....and then its yet another day of festivity...of having junk food from the cheap road-side stalls....not really caring bout the amount of calories you are taking in..yet another adda session with your para cum school cum college friends...of mushy love stories and love at first sight romances; durga puja is an expression of freedom and happiness...everyone is equal on the five days that mother is here..we are all her children....no one is rich and no one is poor when Ma is here....

this puja was however a revelation of sorts....i discovered new 'kindred spirits' in my life yet again and for the first time i was supremely happy...i always had these childhood fantasies that 'kindred spirits' would come into my life during my times of distress [would drop down from heaven to be more precise]..and would have a halo round their heads so that i could easily identify them...but in reality such things really do not happen..they come into your life when you are least expecting them and then they leave an indelible impression behind...sometimes you meet them under the most unexpected circumstances....sometimes it's just a hilarious episode that makes you bond with them or just one fated bus journey or simply a 'fight'....but they end up becoming an indispensable part in your life..the bottom-line is.. kINDRED SPIRITS DO EXIST!!...

i woke up on doshomi morning to realize that everything was about to end.. and it was with a queer feeling of sadness mixed with this sense of deja vu that i trudged sombrely upto my para pandal to have my last discourse with MA before she left for her pleasure-dome....but i was awaited by a different spectacle all together....i saw women resplendently clad in red bordered white saris engaged in "sindur khela"...for the first time maybe i saw vermillion in this different light but there was no mistakening the glow on their faces as the newly married women smeared vermillion onto each other.....its amazing how beautiful the quintessential true indian beauty truly is just like Ma..who is austere..pristine yet impassive..intransigent...the vermillion signified something more than just them being married..it was the epitome of bonding for all these women who embraced each other and smeared 'sindur' on each other's fore-head united by the common thread of bondage that at times segregrate a woman from a girl...a mother from a daughter..

it was a beautiful sight..something which is ineffable and cannot really be comprehended by a mere eighteen year old girl with abysmal maturity and understanding..

i am still trying to understand the "quintessential indian beauty"

this post today is more for all the kindred spirits in my life than for anyone else....